Thoughts and the Comfort Zone
The introductory “Comfort Zone” blog shared the idea that THOUGHTS lead to Feelings and Feelings lead to action (behaviours). This is true whether the thoughts are negative or they are positive, the body mind does not discriminate.
“Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells, that’s why it’s called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life.” (Bruce Lee)
So it makes sense if we want to lower the comfort zone barrier we need to examine our thoughts.
What’s the problem?
On the surface it seems that the problem is our negative / limiting thoughts. It is our thoughts which construct the boundaries of the comfort zone by describing the negative consequence we will experience when we step beyond the zone. For example beliefs such as “It’s dangerous”, “I won’t be able to cope”, “I don’t know enough and so will be found out” and so on. A more useful way of thinking about thoughts is that its not the thoughts but that we believe them without challenging them, that causes our reluctance to step forward. Habitually we react to the thoughts as if they were true. Now they maybe true or they may not be, the point is we don’t check. Consequently we are controlled by them.
One solution to easily stepping out of the comfort zone
So if the problem is that we are believing our thoughts without question then the solution is simply to break that habit by asking “Are my limiting thoughts TRUE?
The limited thoughts were created, in the past, when we were overwhelmed and in the survival mind. Their original purpose (to keep us safe) is outdated, confirmed by our desire to move on, and so need to be updated.
So to break the limiting thought habit we need to:
- Ask if the thought is true? ( a simple Yes or No)
- Explore the negative consequences of continuing with the thought?
- Exploring the benefits of letting go of the thought?
- Replacing the old thought with one that maintains the original positive intention but in a way that moves us forward.
Example of challenging limiting thoughts
Thought : “I can’t dance”
- Is it true that you can’t dance? Yes / No – Yes it is true. If no skip the next question
- Can you absolutely know that you can’t dance? Yes / No (This extra question puts helps some doubt into the absoluteness of the original statement). Either answer is okay as the question is there to loosen our grip on the original belief.
- How do you react when you believe that thought? I feel awkward when attending parties / weddings etc. I tend to avoid and dread those events.
- Who would you be without that thought? I’d be relaxed at those events, maybe even give dancing a go!
- What would be more useful to think instead of “I can’t dance?
- I can learn to dance
- I can dance but it’s more dad dancing
- I’m okay with not being able to dance
- It’s not about me its about the hosts / married couple
CONCLUSION
By challenging the thoughts or changing them to something more useful or giving them a more positive meaning we take back control. When in control it is easier to move forward, through, over or around our comfort zone boundaries. This because WE are in control and not our words or our thoughts.
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